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Wednesday, 13 October 2010 13:00

Survival Guides to Get You Through the End Times

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Photo: Todd Tankersley

Photo: Todd Tankersley

When the gray veil descends upon the land and the cannibals come out at night, you need the right reference books if you’re going to live to see the sun again.

1// US Army Survival Manual: FM 21-76, Department of Defense

Perfect for: The mysterious drifter
Geek factor: Nonzombies will need to know how to build a thatch shelter (scorch broad leaves for shingles), how long to boil rats (10 minutes), and which birds you can follow to water (pigeons).

2// Wilderness Medicine: Beyond First Aid, William Forgey
Perfect for: The self-appointed doctor
Geek factor: Stupid—or unlucky—enough to get hurt? Find out how to heal thyself, from performing “incision and drainage” of abscesses to dealing with “massive lacerations” from a bear mauling.

3// How to Win Friends & Influence People, Dale Carnegie
Perfect for: The newly computerless programmer
Geek factor: The languages of logic don’t require social skills. When your primary interface is with humans, however, be it during end times or a board meeting, this classic will keep you popular—and alive.

4// Kill or Get Killed, Col. Rex Applegate
Perfect for: The pasty-skinned nerd
Geek factor: Even the most passive Poindexter can master the sitting neck break, the stomach thrust with slash on exit, the chin jab and trip, and other killer techniques. This manual has been saving US leathernecks for more than 30 years.

5// Metal Bible NLT, multiple authors
Perfect for:The postapocalyptic product evangelist
Geek factor: Ezekiel 25:17 at your fingertips. Psalms will inspire you during tough moments, Revelations will help you realize it’s really not so bad, and the metal cover can be used as a bludgeon in case it actually is.

Authors: Mathew Honan

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