Engineers from the Advanced Institute of Industrial Technology in Tokyo have developed a novel biometric automotive anti-theft system that uses the unique shape of your butt to identify you.

The driver’s seat is fitted with 360 sensors that measure pressure according to a scale of zero to 256. Each reading is plotted to create a 3-D image — essentially a topographic map of your ass — used as a personal identifier. Anytime someone gets behind the wheel, the system analyzes the shape of their behind. If it isn’t your rear end in the seat, the car isn’t going anywhere.

The engineers behind the...

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