Coffee is for office drones and chain smokers. Time to find a more original way to power up.

1 // SumNuts Energized Snack Mix
Perfect for: Keeping party guests well fed—and perky.
Geek factor: Cocktails with tedious neighbors get a lot more exciting when you dose the munchables with caffeine, taurine, and ginseng. Keep some Xanax on hand in case they go all Who’s Afraid of Virginia Woolf?
$2

2 // McJak Candy Caffeinated Suckas
Perfect for: Looking like Kojak, feeling like Ace Ventura.
Geek factor: Just because you quit smoking doesn’t mean you have to give up your oral fixation and alkaloid-fueled power-ups. Keep a few “slammin’ strawbanana” lollies in the glovebox—they’re great for all-night stakeouts.
$1

3 // Player-Aid
Perfect for: Staying awake when you go into extra innings.
Geek factor: Knock back a shot and get more caffeine than a cup of coffee, plus yerba maté and green tea for an extra kick. It’s also the perfect chaser. Just remember to save one for the next morning, in case happy hour turns into last call.
$3

4 // Plow On Energy Gum
Perfect for: Defying sleep during marathon coding sessions.
Geek factor: Chew through the exhaustion that’s gnawing at your productivity! Plow On might not be a substitute for lunch, but if you’re shaking from hunger you might as well be shaking from an instantaneous caffeine buzz, too.
$3

5 // Fizogen Blast Cycle
Perfect for: Benching 225, boo-yah!
Geek factor: The names of the ingredient blends in this body-building powder alone are enough to get your heart palpitating. Rage-Erupt! Napalm! Cell-Nuke! You’re one scoop away from an epic Hulk-like urge to crush life.
$80