By Bill Caswell, Jalopnik

CHICHESETER, West Sussex, England — Everyone had to deal with a playground bully, the kid twice your size who repeated first grade just so he could be bigger and stronger than everyone else. In the automotive world, that bully’s name is Bugatti, and I saw him back down from a fight with something even more menacing.

I’ve had enough of the Veyron this, world’s fastest that and every other superlative heaped upon the car. I’m so over it. And so is John Hennessey.

Anyone who knows cars knows Hennessey. He’s the guy who turns fast cars into absurdly fast cars. And he’s been shaking up the playground since unveiling the Hennessey Venom 1000 Twin Turbo. But then anything putting down 1,200 horsepower from a twin-turbo V10 will impress.

To call the Venom a car is a serious understatement. It goes from zero to 200 mph in 20.2 seconds. It isn’t a car. It’s a rocket meant to destroy automotive records. Those fortunate enough to have driven it still talk about it, in almost reverential tones. The conversation usually starts, “You have no idea…”

That’s exactly how I describe Hennessey’s latest car, the Venom GT. You have no idea. It’s almost impossible to describe the Venom GT. The stats help, a little. It weighs 2,685 pounds wet. It puts down 1,200 horsepower. And it does zero to 200 mph in an absolutely insane 15.9 seconds. That last one needs to be repeated:

Zero to 200 mph in 15.9 seconds.

Check out the video of me riding in the car up the hill. That look in my eyes is not quite fear, it’s more of a “How is this possible?” Is this what racers feel the first time they drive a Formula One car? I’m not sure, but the Hennessey Venom GT feels like the next fastest thing to a F1 car.

I haven’t found one street legal car that can still turn corners and beat it. Not only is this thing fast, corners are its friend, not something to pass the time till the next straightaway. The car has tons of grip. Its rear suspension is super compliant, which is impressive given how much power it has to put down.

I’m sure the guys at Bugatti will say they are gentlemen and don’t engage in street fights. But this wasn’t a street fight.

And the really shocking part — I sat in the car while John Heinricy did a three-point turn in a crazy crowded paddock with no stress. Heinricy was having a conversation with me while doing it, barely worried about the clutch or all the people standing around the car. The car is that civilized. I’m not sure what’s in it, but somehow that clutch holds 1,200 angry horsepower and allows you drive it around like its a BMW 3-Series with a five-speed.

You can raise the front of the car with the push of a button to clear unusual driveways, which is a good thing because if I owned this car I would drive it everywhere. In-N-Out. The movie theater. Even the grocery store. Who needs passengers when you have 1,200 horsepower?

So. Back to the speed. It is ungodly. Watch the video again. I wake up in the middle of night thinking about the speed. What it would be like to take something like this to the 24 Hours of Nurburgring and pay Porsche and BMW a little visit? It’s just so fast. And our friends over at Bugatti must have been thinking the same thing.

So here we are at the largest automotive playground in the world, the Goodwood Festival of Speed. And the big boy in the sandbox is the Bugatti Veyron SS. So what did we do? We lined up right behind it on the starting line for the hill climb. John Heinricy was at the wheel. This man can drive. His resume lists four professional driver championships, 11 SCCA national championships and a trio of FIA World Speed Records (what a cool thing to have on your resume). He’s the reason why so many General Motors cars are crazy fast on a racetrack –- he tuned them.

(If you’re curious, here’s Heinricy starting from the back of an SCCA T1 race.)

Was it fair? I think so. Heinricy is a regular guy who grew up in South Dakota and happens to be fast. Really fast. Hennessey is a regular guy from Missouri and happens to build fast cars. Really fast cars. Almost everything his company builds appears to be available with 1,000 horsepower. You simply check the appropriate box on the order form, as if choosing leather seats or navi.

So both of these guys have been at it for a while, and they’re really good at what they do. But then again, this isBugatti we’ve lined up behind. They’ve been racing since before any of our grandparents were born. Hell — the company finished second in the French Grand Prix in 1909. You’d think they could handle a car built in the United States by a company based in a Texas town known more for mattresses than anything else.

So what happened? Did we catch the Bugatti?

We never found out.

The Bugatti bitched out on the starting line and simply pulled over to wave us by. WTF? Really? Wow. We just stood up to the biggest bully on the playground and he walked away. I’m willing to bet the Bugatti guys know all about Hennessey and knew exactly what was lined up behind them.

They knew they were in trouble. Better to back down than have most of the UK automotive world see it go down. I’m sure the guys at Bugatti will say they are gentlemen and don’t engage in street fights. But this wasn’t a street fight. It was a hillclimb showcasing some of the finest supercars on the planet. Don’t worry Bugatti, Hennessey will find you for a proper match in the near future.

So what was the Venom GT like on the hillclimb? Cool, fast, but also extremely normal. I probably could have driven it nearly as fast on my first time out. The power comes on smoothly and seems easy to manage. Heinricy is good, yes, but it’s more than that. Hennessey built an amazing car.

A quick look at the super-wide, A-arm rear suspension lets you know this car is packing a ton of power. I stared at it for a long, long time. I couldn’t understand how the car could put down so much power and not have that wheel hopping, traction kick thing that seems to occur with jacked-up street cars.

I know the difference is that the Venom GT was built to handle this kind of power, but it comes out of the wheels so smoothly. I could feel the tires starting to break loose, but Heinricy just feathered the throttle a little and we kept accelerating.

The other thing that’s hard to believe is how quiet it is inside the car. Sure, I could hear the cars being started across the parking lot, but I could also hear Heinricy through his helmet while we were accelerating up the hill. This car was built for the street.

Oh, I forgot to mention. There’s a computer on the dash that lets you change the boost settings. We were using “only” 1,000 horsepower. There’s another 200 horsepower just sitting there, waiting for you when you’re ready. Push the button and it’s yours, much like ordering the car from Hennessey’s website.

Well, sort of. The Venom GT is kind of expensive. But that’s a good thing. If I thought I could afford it, I would sell everything I own to have one.

Photos: Elan Newman. Videos: Hennessey Performance.