If you haven’t been following the controversy surrounding the recent redesign of the 2012 Volkswagen Passat, I’ll sum it up for you: In its quest to dominate worldwide automotive sales, VW decided the Euro-spec sedan wouldn’t do for the U.S. market. Designers penned a new, Americanized Passat that’s bigger, blander and cheaper, a Euro-parody of the demands of the typical American consumer. It’s only German understatement that left out the high-fructose corn syrup dispenser, gun rack and lethal injection kit.

Even before...