Optimus should swap this shot for one of him doing something interesting, ideally looking away from the camera and not smiling (that should be easy). Extra points for an image of him with a puppy or some other animal.

We had OkCupid run some numbers for us, and the truth is cold and hard. Optimus doesn’t need to worry about sounding smart: A profile written at the 10th-grade level hardly scores any more conversations than one written at the 4th-grade level. For women, it’s a different story: If your essay is written at a college level, the number of worthwhile messages you get drops off a cliff. Sad.

Mr. Prime’s language will probably get more interest from city-dwelling ladybots. Negative words are like nectar to urbanites, Rudder says, while out in the sticks, the more negative words you use, the fewer matches you’ll make.

A profile of about 130 words is fine for males. “You just have to put forth some minimal effort to show you’re real,” Rudder says. Women who write longer posts do better, though, than females who mince words: Ladies should aim for about 800 words instead of the average 280.

“The number one rule is be super-specific,” Yagan says. “Ask a challenge or question in your profile. Give the reader lots of hooks to grab onto, anything that could inspire them to send you a note. Make sure your profile couldn’t just be handed to your best friend and apply to him, too.”

According to OkCupid’s analysis, the words most likely to get a conversation going here for men are chillin’, blunts, cabernet, horsepower, faithfulness, and sensuality, and for women lingerie, marijuana, deodorant, handcuffs, mouthwash, and Redbull.