Peace once reigned in chap hop, a tongue-in-cheeky hip hop genre that reimagines rap as a leisure activity of the British elite. But it turns out that even these rarefied rappers can get their knickers in a twist. In 2008, one of its dandy stars, Mr. B (aka the Gentleman Rhymer), grabbed his banjolele and recorded an NWA send-up titled “Straight Out of Surrey,” in which he trumpets his cricket prowess, clear diction, and clean criminal record. Nothing that would raise the hackles of your average MC, but an up-and-coming English steampunk named Professor Elemental was fed up with Mr. B’s domination of the scene. He decided to knock him down a few pegs by releasing a diss track called “Fighting Trousers.” The video scored 400,000-plus views on YouTube—and forced Mr. B to answer the affront to his dignity.

In lieu of a drive-by, B sought revenge by slamming his rival in the Rolling Stone of their world, The Chap, calling him a “frightful bore” with a “bee in his bonnet about me.” The beef is on, and the professor promises to settle it once and for all in May, when the duo engage in a verbal joust at the Meadowlands Festival in East Sussex. Elemental boasts that the drama will end “with me standing over Mr. B’s bloodied and beaten body, fires raging all around me, laughing insanely while I smash his banjolele over my knee.” Not exactly Eazy-E and Dre, but that’s how they roll in the U to the mum-respecting K.