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Mercredi, 22 Septembre 2010 15:12

Feds Issue Guide To Snitching on Your Terrorist Neighbor

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That dude next door, man — I used to think he was an OK guy, but now all the bags of fertilizer from Home Depot piled up in his garage are starting to worry me. And what’s with that beard? He’s not a

— you don’t think –

For today’s Doc of the Day, here’s a handy pamphlet prepared by federal law enforcement to help you navigate the uncertainties of an age of homegrown terrorism, helpfully illustrated with pictures of New Mexico-born extremist preacher Anwar al-Awlaki and New York food-cart guy/sleeper agent Najibullah Zazi.

Be on the lookout, warn the FBI, the Department of Homeland Security, and the National Counterterrorism Center, for such “indicators of possible terrorist activity” as “behavior that could indicate participation in surveillance of potential targets”; “travel or interest in traveling overseas to attend violent extremist institutions or paramilitary camps”; or checking out “Websites and reading materials that advocate violence and then initiating action in support of this activity.” See something? Say something!

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The pamphlet is sure to take its lumps from certain corners for not mentioning the word “Islam” anywhere. (Not that such criticism is necessarily legitimate.) But perhaps more problematic is that these crack sleuthing tips are geared toward ferreting out the terrorist community’s most blithering, Clouseau-esque idiots.

Of course, this all comes with a big caveat: “There may be a legitimate reason why some of the indicators described in this document are present,” the pamphlet warns, “it is up to you to determine when that is not the case.” Because you and your neighbors are trained counterterrorism professionals. Maybe hold off before calling the FBI on your neighbor.

Photo: FBI

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Authors: Spencer Ackerman

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