Play Don Draper for a moment. What do you think about when you think about al-Qaida? The senseless slaughter of innocents, right? As it turned out, even Osama bin Laden thought his terrorist organization needed an image reboot.

The Associated Press reports that some of bin Laden’s final writings display an obsession with how far al-Qaida’s brand had fallen. While the U.S. has flagellated itself for years for losing the information wars in the Muslim world, bin Laden thought he was worse off, irreparably tainting his terrorist organization by killing too many Muslims. He started brainstorming new names.

Problem: bin Laden sucks as a brand manager. One of his new handles for al-Qaida? “Monotheism and Jihad Group.” That was the original name of Abu Musab al-Zarqawi’s bloodthirsty al-Qaida franchise in Iraq, which killed so many Muslims that  Ayman Zawahiri begged Zarqawi to stop. When Zarqawi didn’t listen, he lost his Iraqi allies, got blown up by the U.S., and his group snatched defeat from the jaws of victory. Not exactly a model for a new look.

Danger Room has offered PR advice to troubled companies before. But we think you can do better. So Draper up: pour yourself an early Scotch, take an afternoon nap, start an inappropriate fixation on a co-worker and give al-Qaida a new name — something that says, “Now With 20 Percent Less Eschatological Violence.”

Oh, and if you have any hesitations about helping al-Qaida, consider this. If even bin Laden thinks al-Qaida has an image problem, it’s seriously screwed.

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Photo: Flickr/Silverfox09