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Illustration: Marcos Chin
Face it: You’re going to screw up eventually. Here’s how to make amends.
SIN: You open an email attachment called MeganFoxBoobs.exe, thereby infecting your employer’s network with the software equivalent of syphilis.
PENANCE: Buy the IT department a case of beer—preferably an overpriced microbrew. Then drive to your great-aunt’s retirement home and install Norton Antivirus on everyone’s PC.
PENANCE: Buy the IT department a case of beer—preferably an overpriced microbrew. Then drive to your great-aunt’s retirement home and install Norton Antivirus on everyone’s PC.
SIN: You delete a TV episode from the DVR before everyone in your household has had a chance to see it.
PENANCE: Purchase the episode on iTunes or from Amazon Video on Demand. Also, all housemates get to make one pick from the Netflix queue before you get another turn.
PENANCE: Purchase the episode on iTunes or from Amazon Video on Demand. Also, all housemates get to make one pick from the Netflix queue before you get another turn.
SIN: You monopolize a neighbor’s open Wi-Fi to download a 1.3-gig hi-def copy of Iron Man 2.
PENANCE: Pay their next broadband bill to make it up to them. Then purchase a copy of the DVD to make it up to the copyright holder. Then use a modem connection for a week to remind yourself how much it sucks to have low bandwidth.
PENANCE: Pay their next broadband bill to make it up to them. Then purchase a copy of the DVD to make it up to the copyright holder. Then use a modem connection for a week to remind yourself how much it sucks to have low bandwidth.
SIN: You give away a plot point without saying “spoiler alert” beforehand.
PENANCE: Turn your friend on to an underhyped movie or TV show that they never knew existed, like The Prisoner (original), Moon, Jericho, Primer, or Green Acres (seriously, it’s a surrealist masterpiece!).
PENANCE: Turn your friend on to an underhyped movie or TV show that they never knew existed, like The Prisoner (original), Moon, Jericho, Primer, or Green Acres (seriously, it’s a surrealist masterpiece!).
SIN: You haven’t tweaked your Facebook settings, and you’re clogging your friends’ walls with Farmville updates.
PENANCE: Go to an actual farm and then stick both of your hands into a thresher so that you can never click over to a social-networking game again. Some things are just plain unforgivable.
PENANCE: Go to an actual farm and then stick both of your hands into a thresher so that you can never click over to a social-networking game again. Some things are just plain unforgivable.
Authors: Mathew Honan
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